The Spectrum
Autism and New Year’s Resolutions: A Different Way of Growing
This article first appeared in a January 2026 issue of Autism Now News. Subscribe to get pertinent content like this delivered to your inbox every month!
Every year, as the calendar inches toward January 1, the world fills with talk of “New Year, New Me.”
Gyms get crowded, planners sell out, and social media overflows with resolutions about changing, fixing, and improving.
But for many individuals living with autism and their families, this tradition can feel…off. Forced. Arbitrary. Even discouraging.
What if, instead, we looked at resolutions through a different lens—one that honors the way many people with autism think, feel, and grow? What if we focused less on “fixing” and more on empowering?
This perspective emerges from powerful conversations with autism educators and advocates, including Taylor Jacobs, Director of Curriculum & Implementation; Jennifer Sevier, District Director; and Derrick Jamerson, Program Director, all at Autism Academy for Education & Development which has six campuses in Arizona, including one online.
Their insights help us see New Year’s resolutions in a more nuanced, autism-affirming way.
Rethinking What a “Goal” Really Is
For many those affected by autism, goal setting is not just a holiday ritual, it’s a vital life skill. But the way we talk about goals matters.
Vague resolutions like “be a better person”or “improve myself” can feel confusing, frustrating, or simply meaningless. They’re too fuzzy, too abstract, offers Jamerson.
Therefore, Taylor sees resolutions as something that can be helpful, but only if they’re handled with care.
“I see New Year’s resolutions as something that can be helpful for some individuals with autism, but potentially harmful if not approached thoughtfully,” she explains. “When resolutions are presented without structure, instruction, or individualized support, they can increase anxiety, confusion, and stress.”
“It is also important to consider the specific population of students we are working with,” she adds. “Some individuals may not yet have the ability to independently set long-term goals, monitor progress, or sustain motivation without significant support. For resolutions to be meaningful, they must be carefully tailored to the individual’s developmental level, abilities, and support needs.”
“For us, it’s less about those intangible resolutions that are those big picture concepts and more about helping the kids to improve on something—for some, it’s just another date on the calendar.”
Derrick adds that many individuals with autism may wonder, quite reasonably:
‘If I’m already good, why do I need to change just because the calendar flipped? What makes January 1 so special? Who decided this is the day I must be “better”?’
“It’s not a monolithic group, he reminds us. There is no single “autistic perspective” on resolutions. Some people love the symbolism of a fresh start; others feel no emotional connection to it at all.
Jennifer points out that many kids and teens who are on the spectrum are used to goals being set for them—by adults, schools, or systems.
“They live in a world where goals have been set for them,” she explains. “It may be during the week because they sit down with a team or teacher.”
In that context, New Year’s isn’t a big, dramatic turning point. It’s simply another moment in an ongoing process of learning, planning, and trying she explains “New Year’s is less important when it comes to setting goals because it’s just a part of their life all the time,” she concludes.
And maybe that’s something we can all learn from: growth as a quiet, steady companion rather than a once-a-year overhaul.
Goals That Heal Instead of Hurt
When individuals with autism are supported in choosing their own goals, certain themes come up again and again—goals that are deeply human, hopeful, and powerful.
Many center around connection and independence:
• “I want to make a friend.”
• “I want to join a club.”
• “I want to get a job.”
• “I want to learn to drive.”
“These are things that you would see as typical growing up,” Jennifer says. “But for them, they may not have realized they could do these things. They may have had people in their ear telling them they can’t do those things. For them, it can be really impactful that they are empowered with the idea that ‘yes, you can.’”
That “yes, you can” is not a slogan. It can be life changing.
At the same time, we must be careful. Too often, goals set for those with autism send a quieter, harmful message of:
- You need to be less you.
- You need to fit in more.
- You need to stop doing the things that comfort you.
When goals are framed as “fit in better,” “act more normal,” or “stim less,” they can chip away at a person’s sense of self. They can feel like rejection dressed up as self-improvement.
Taylor actively discourages goals that focus on erasing behavior without adding something meaningful in its place.
“I generally discourage goals that focus on stopping or eliminating behaviors without providing an alternative,” she explains. “Instead, we frame goals around what a student will do, rather than what they should stop doing. When reducing a behavior, it is essential to replace it with a positive, functional alternative.
This approach allows progress to be measured through skill development and reinforces growth in a constructive and supportive way, rather than focusing solely on deficits.”
Instead, goals should honor identity instead of erasing it.
That might look like:
- Building communication tools that work for them—spoken language, AAC, typing, or a mix.
- Practicing social skills that feel supportive
- Exploring hobbies and interests that bring real joy, whether or not they’re “typical.”
- Learning daily living skills at a pace that respects their readiness and nervous system.
Empowering goals say: You are enough as you are. And if there are things you want to do, we’ll walk toward them together.
Taylor emphasizes that resolutions can absolutely be a way to honor autistic strengths rather than fix perceived flaws.
“Most of the time, resolutions are framed around fixing perceived deficits or shortcomings. However, if resolutions are reframed to build upon autistic strengths—such as special interests, preferred routines, or areas of strong focus—they can become far more motivating and meaningful. A resolution that allows a student additional time to engage in a special interest, develop expertise in an area they enjoy, or apply their strengths will typically lead to greater buy-in and more positive results.”
The Hidden Wounds of Being Told “You Can’t”
Jenny shares a painful but common reality: many autistic teens grow up hearing, directly or indirectly, that their dreams are out of reach.
“For some kids that are a little bit more aware, you get a lot of things that happen,” she explains. “One is they often are growing up in an environment where they’ve been separated from their peers, or if they’re integrated with their peers, they may feel separate.”
On top of that, adults sometimes talk about them as if they are not even in the room.
“It’s also not unusual for adults to talk about them as if they are not there, when they are sitting in front of them. People will say things like, ‘Well, I don’t think they are ever going to be able to drive,’ not realizing they understand perfectly,” Jenny says.
Those comments don’t just float away. They land. They stay.
“It’s essential to remember that teenagers will often have experiences where people have told them they can’t do things, leading to a lack of confidence,” she concludes.
When the world repeatedly tells you what you won’t do, it becomes harder to even imagine what you might do.
This is where goal setting, done gently and respectfully, can become an act of repair. Not “Let’s fix you,” but:
“Let’s rediscover what you’re capable of.”
“Let’s push back on every ‘you can’t’ you’ve ever absorbed.”
Strategies That Actually Support Autistic Brains and Hearts
To make goal setting truly supportive for individuals who are living with autism, we need to meet them where they are—cognitively, emotionally, and sensory-wise.
Taylor sees clear patterns in what works best: “Many students on the spectrum tend to experience more success with short-term goals, such as daily, weekly, or monthly targets, rather than goals that span an entire year,” she explains.
“Long-term goal setting can feel overwhelming. Goals that are routine-based or skill-based—such as building an exercise routine or participating more consistently in a structured cleanup routine—are often more accessible and achievable.”
“When introducing goal setting, I typically recommend starting with short-term, concrete goals and gradually progressing toward longer-term goals as the student develops confidence and skill in the process.”
In practice, that means: Involve them in every step.
Goals should never feel like orders handed down from above. Whether it’s through spoken conversation, pictures, checklists, writing, or AAC, the person’s voice needs to be central.
The message is clear: Any student that can participate in goal setting discussion should be involved and at the forefront. If a student cannot participate in the discussion, a long-term New Year’s resolution may not be the type of goal that should be established for that student.
Instead of:
• “This is your goal for the year.”
Try:
• “Here are some things you’ve said you want. Which ones feel important to you right now?”
Make goals specific and concrete. Abstract resolutions can feel overwhelming or meaningless. Clear, concrete steps are kinder and more usable.
Instead of:
• “I want to exercise more.”
Try:
• “I will walk for 30 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”
Instead of:
• “I’ll be more social.”
Try:
• “I will say ‘hi’ to one classmate three times a week,” or
• “I will go to my club meeting twice this month.”
Specific goals reduce anxiety and create a clear path to “This is what I’m doing. This is how I’ll know I did it.”
Keep goals realistic—and adjustable.Life happens. Energy dips. Sensory overload shows up. Executive function changes day to day. Goals should bend with that reality, not break people when they’re struggling.
Taylor notes that this is true for everyone: “I think resolutions in general for both autistic and neurotypical individuals can lead to anxiety and burn out, because people tend to set unrealistic expectations for what they can achieve or try to go above and beyond what is necessary. I think it is more beneficial to set short term more manageable goals for our students so that they can continually see progress and feel successful.”
If a goal turns out to be too big, that’s not failure; it’s feedback. We can shrink it, slow it down, or slice it into smaller steps.
Use visuals, routines, and structure.
Many people who have autism benefit from visual schedules, checklists, trackers, or step-by-step plans. These supports don’t replace independence; they support it.
Taylor and Jennifer describe an autism-friendly approach as “providing visual supports, checklists, and short-term benchmarks to a long-term goal.” Visuals and routines “allow individuals to practice skills consistently while relying on predictable structures and supports,” and “the ability to visually track progress often increases independence, confidence, and overall success.”
A goal might be broken into:
• Step 1: Learn the basics (with pictures, videos, or modeling).
• Step 2: Practice with support.
• Step 3: Try it with less help.
• Step 4: Celebrate and review.
Build a trusted support system.
No one should have to chase goals alone—especially when the world can feel confusing, loud, or discouraging.
Accountability partners—parents, siblings, friends, therapists, teachers, job coaches—can:
• Offer reminders without nagging.
• Check in gently: “How’s that goal going? Anything you want to change?”
• Celebrate progress, no matter how small.
Sometimes the most powerful thing a supporter can say is, “I see how hard you’re trying,” or, “You don’t have to do this alone.”
The advice is to encourage caregivers, educators, and clinicians to make resolutions more accessible and affirming by establishing more short-term benchmarks for the goals and allowing the student to select an area or strength or interest that they would like to continue to enhance.
Visual supports, schedules, and special interests all play an important role: They can make goals more easily understandable and attainable and can show progress along the way.
A Different Kind of New Year
As the New Year approaches, the pressure to reinvent ourselves ramps up.
As the New Year approaches, the pressure to reinvent ourselves ramps up. But those living with autism don’t need to be “reinvented.” They need to be respected, listened to, and believed in.
Taylor reminds us that those living with autism are already carrying a lot:
“Autistic individuals currently navigate a world that is not designed with their needs in mind. Daily expectations around communication, productivity, and social interaction can already be incredibly challenging and draining,” she says.
Societal messaging such as ‘new year, new you’ or productivity-focused culture can amplify feelings of pressure and inadequacy, especially when they fail to account for neurodiversity or provide meaningful accommodations.
“Many autistic students are not naturally drawn to traditional New Year’s resolutions, which often focus on deficits or areas of struggle,” she adds. “Autistic individuals frequently receive feedback about what they find challenging and may already be working hard to navigate those difficulties daily.
Adding a year-long resolution that highlights these struggles can lead to reduced motivation, emotional fatigue, or disengagement. Without careful framing and support, resolutions can feel discouraging rather than empowering. Derrick agrees with this.
“Any goal should be attainable. Nobody wants to set a goal and then in three months say, ‘well, I didn’t achieve that.’ Many individuals have experiences in life with goals that they have hoped to achieve, whether they are on the spectrum or not.
Therefore, the goal should be attainable. It could also be focused on something you already do, and you want to get better at it,” says Derrick.
For some individuals, New Year’s will be a meaningful moment to reflect and choose new goals. For others, it will simply be another day in a longer, quieter journey of learning and growing. Both are valid.
What matters most is not the date on the calendar, but the spirit behind the goals:
• Are they chosen by the person with ASD, or imposed on them?
• Do they honor who they are, or try to make them someone else?
• Do they build confidence, or deepen shame?
When goals are personal, concrete, and rooted in genuine interests—when they are supported with visual tools, short-term benchmarks, and people who believe “yes, you can”—they become more than resolutions. They become steppingstones toward a life that feels possible, meaningful, and authentically theirs.
By acknowledging the many different ways people with autism experience goal setting and New Year’s, we move closer to a world where growth is not demanded, but nurtured—and where resolutions honor autistic strengths, identities, and dreams.
In that world, we don’t just celebrate resolutions once a year.
We celebrate every small win, every brave attempt, every quiet “I think I can do this,” all year round.
And we celebrate, most of all, the people themselves—exactly as they are, and exactly as they are becoming.
Special thanks to Jennifer Sevier, District Director at Autism Academy for Education & Development; Derrick Jamerson, Program Director at Autism Academy for Education & Development; and Taylor Jacobs, Director of Curriculum & Implementation at Autism Academy for Education & Development